There’s something about being alone in a house that feels “off” to me. Even when two people are in separate rooms, there’s still a feeling of their energies in the house that’s comforting. Hanging out with the dogs doesn’t do it for me… they don’t talk back. So, I’m just at my neighbor’s house writing this post. I have some company here at least.

I’m missing therapy today. I don’t have another session until next week. It’s just nice to let it all out once in a while.

Tomorrow I’m meeting with my professor to talk about coming back to my MSW program. I hope it goes okay. No matter what happens, I know whatever happens is meant to be.

I’m wanting to work in communities with homeless elderly and LGTBQIA youth. There are more and more people in the homeless communities that need help. In the meantime, I want to volunteer at homeless shelters and soup kitchens to do my part in the community.

I saw someone panhandling in the street on my way to get coffee today. I felt guilty that I had nothing to give because, if I had something to give, I would’ve. I almost called them over to give them a pack of gum, but I wasn’t sure how that would have been recieved. In hindsight, I suppose they might’ve been grateful for anything. I saw another person give them a handful of change, too… At this point all I can do is pray for them.

Something else I’m extremely passionate about is suicide prevention. I would like to volunteer for a crisis hotline, although, I need to make sure that my own mental health is stable before I go about it. I’m going to walk in the Out of the Darkness Suicide Prevention Walk this year, and I hope to get a team together for it. This is a topic that I’m personally affected by with my own mental illness (falling into depression and, at times, suicidal ideation), as well as my late eldest brother who died by suicide in 2003. Depression is very treatable, and suicide is preventable. There is hope. I know this because I have hope. I never thought that would be a possibility for me.

Overall, I think my meeting with my professor tomorrow will be productive. I’m willing to go to any lengths to go back and complete the program, even if that means doing a semester over again (which I hope isn’t the case). I guess we’ll find out tomorrow!

Somehow, someway, things will come together.

Sending love and light, Kel.