I’m not going to sugarcoat it. For a long time I have felt undeserving of moving forward in life. Unworthy might be the word. I have kept myself in a cage, with the door wide open for me, too afraid to believe in myself. I have kept quiet, not sure if what I had to say would make a difference. I was suffocating in my own thoughts, thinking that I wasn’t enough. All of that self-defeat led to multiple, severe depressive episodes, alcoholism, self-harm, and an eating disorder.

I’m not ashamed of my story today. I have no problem sharing my story because, in the end, it’s one of hope. I’m learning to use my voice, to look people in the eyes, to hold my head up instead of staring at the ground. I spent so long trying to cover up my pain with negative coping mechanisms. They stopped working for me after a while, and all I was left with was myself. I didn’t know how to just be with myself. I still have a hard time being alone, although, it’s getting a little easier.

It’s time to embrace my humanness. I am not perfect, nor will I ever be. I know this. I am going to be the best version of myself that I can be, whatever that means on any given day. I’m learning to trust myself, and to trust the Universe. I can take things one day at a time. There’s no more cage for me. I’ve flown out that door.

I. am. not. afraid. anymore.

I deserve to move forward in life. I no longer have to suffocate in my thoughts, because I have learned how to let them go before they can ever catch me. I have a say about which direction my life is going. It’s a beautiful life, as long as I keep on keeping on.

Sending love and light, Kel.