We grow. We change. We heal.

Consider who you were 5 years ago. For me, that means a 25-year-old young adult who was trying her hardest to get sober from alcoholism. It also means a young woman who was doing her best to stay alive when everything inside her said she shouldn’t. They say, “If it won’t matter in 5 years then don’t worry about it”… whoever “they” is. For 25 year old Kelly, the “it” was her sobriety and her life. It absolutely, 100%, mattered. To think back on that time in my life brings sadness. Sadness that I had to go through all of that pain. And, it also makes me proud of that Kelly because she ended up kicking recovery ass! She kept her persistence and strengthened her resolve. I wouldn’t be here today if she didn’t.

Consider who you were a year ago. I was 29 years old and still fighting for my life. Only now, I was almost a year and a half sober. I was living the steps of Alcoholics Anonymous. I was doing self-care like nobody’s business. Yet, I was still fighting with my depressive thoughts. Just because a person gets sober doesn’t mean life still doesn’t happen. And, I of all people should know. I started having therapy two times a week to help cope and get through. I had written a suicide note on my tablet one evening. I told my therapist and she had me read it out loud to her in session. Then she had me delete it. And I did. Thinking back on that moment, I feel fear for 29-year-old Kelly. If only she could see how beautiful her life was just by being her. She didn’t see it at that time, but she will.

Consider your life a week ago. I was on top of the world! I had my meetings, my friends, my treatment team, my photography and gallery, my writing (both personal and blogging), and my family. I felt unstoppable! Then change happened and, as you know, I stopped therapy. It was a hard pill to swallow because I felt it happened rather quickly. Fast forward to today: I have once again found my balance. I’ve found a new groove which allows me to go with the flow while also staying grounded in the moment. It’s a wonderful feeling to let myself just be who I am and feel what I need to feel. I’m not who I was a week ago. I’m not sure I’m even who I was an hour ago. That’s the magic of it all.

We grow. We change. We heal.

Sending love and light, Kel.