I strive to be my most authentic self. At times this means others might not like me very much. Sound odd? Well, when setting boundaries for myself, I have a tendency to keep a strong focus on my own well being, so much so that I often times look over other people’s needs. Being my most authentic self really doesn’t mean ignoring others. That’s something I most definitely need to work on. And, it’s something I know about myself, therefore, I can work on changing it.

My most authentic self feels her feelings. I used to bury my feelings in drugs and alcohol, self-injury, and food restriction; anything to numb out. Today I know I don’t have to do that anymore. Feelings are messengers and they’re there for a reason. They tell us how to respond (or how not to respond) to a situation, person, place, or thing. It’s important to listen to emotion. I’m not perfect. I’ve said that 100 times before. It’s important to me to constantly remind myself of that. So, when it comes to feeling emotion, I can still struggle with that. Maybe not by numbing out, but rather by closing off and not letting people know what is going on inside me. That’s not a healthy coping mechanism, and it’s one I continue to recognize and learn from.

Looking over other people’s feelings, and burying my own, are not ideal characteristics for me. They are part of me, though. I embrace them as being character flaws that need changing. Embracing these kinds of things is the first step to move towards healthy behavior, and moving towards a purely true version of myself. I can reach my authenticity through acceptance around who I am, both negative and positive traits.

Keep striving towards embracing you. It can be hard to accept your flaws and the things you might not like very much about yourself. Something to practice: talk to yourself like a loved one is talking to you. Would your bestie tell you you’re dumb or incompetent? I don’t think they would. If they did, you might want to reconsider the people you hang with. But, I digress… embrace you. All of you. Try self-acceptance to move toward authenticity. Work on saying “I love myself” in the mirror. See how that feels to you. See how your life changes because of it.

Sending love and light, Kel.