Once there was a girl; her eyes sparkling with tears. She felt numb and emotionless. She sat staring up at the ceiling fan, waiting for a thought to arise. The thought never came. With blank stares and hollow mind, she waited. Nothing.

She wanted to let out the tears in her eyes. She wanted to let emotion flow. But nothing ever happened. There she sat, empty.

She took a breath and tipped her head back in frustration. Finally, a feeling! Frustration rose and tears welled up. She closed her eyes, if only to keep the tears from rushing out. What happened next, she’ll never tell.

She held her breath. She told herself not to feel anymore. She told herself to push it all down again. But that didn’t matter.

Her tears fell.

She let it all out. The pain of emotion held her captive. She couldn’t breathe through the crying.

A half-hour passed. The tears finally stopped. There she sat, even more numb now. She looked up at the ceiling fan again, waiting for a thought to come, but none ever did.

Mind blank.

Closing her eyes once more, she wished for a feeling.

– Kelly J.