Life is full of twists and turns that we may not have anticipated. As it turns out, IOP will not be an option after all because of a financial issue. It is disheartening that treatment isn’t affordable a lot of times. I’ve worked with some really great therapists over the years with huge hearts who’ve taken some of my financial burdens off my shoulders so that I could recieve help. Unfortunately, this IOP wasn’t within reach for me.

Things have taken a turn for the better though. I’ve decided to put myself out into the working world again. I did the interview and was told by the hiring manager, “As far as I’m concerned, you’re hired”! This new opportunity could bring a lot of blessings into my life. It could also affect my moods within my Bipolar Disorder.

I’ve had a few jobs in my life; some worked out and some didn’t. I’m going to tread carefully with this new job. I’ll stick it out for a month and see if it’s a good fit for me. Although, if it starts to significantly affect my moods then I’ll have to rethink things. All I can do is my best. Just keep on showing up to life as it unfolds. If you told me a week ago that I would be employed next week, I would’ve never believed it. But life had a different plan for me than I thought.

Last week (and the few weeks before that) my depression was taking over everything about my life. I was succumbing to it. Then, the last time I met with my therapist, we had a powerful discussion. That’s when I decided that I need to do the work in my recovery to move forward from the things keeping me stuck. So, I started applying for jobs the next day. I knew this was the direction I needed to be taking because the idea of employment started to excite me! It helped lift my depression just that much more.

I’m really hoping this job will work out for me. I’m really hoping it won’t mess with my Bipolar. I’m really hoping it’ll turn out to be a great thing in my life.

Even though my depression isn’t 100% gone, I know I can still take action to move forward in life. And, if this ends up knocking me on my ass, well then at least I gave it a fair shot. I have so many people in my corner who believe that I can do this. Now I have to show myself that I can.

We never know what twists and turns life may bring us. Sometimes all we need is for someone to believe in us. It’s hard when mental illness takes us hostage. It’s time to fight back against the depression that so freely keeps me stuck. It’s not going to be easy… at all. It’ll be difficult. But like my therapist says: “Difficult does not mean impossible”. It’ll be another life experience that might give me some hope. And that hope is how I beat depression when all depression wants is to beat me down.