I had therapy on Monday morning. I read a journal entry to my therapist that she had assigned to me the week before. She told me not to censor. She said no writing “butterflies and rainbows” to cover my true feelings. So, I was completely candid and transparent.

What happened next wasn’t as surprising as it was dreading. I knew if I read this entry that I’d be sent to higher level of care.

My therapist said my journal entry sounded like a suicide note and that it sounded like I had intent.

That’s when I told her I had actually written a note. (I’ve shredded said note since then). But, we both knew I couldn’t wait 2 weeks to see my nurse practitioner about tweaking meds.

I stayed on the psych unit for 4 days, got blood drawn 5 times, and added another medication to make my cocktail 6.

I’m so happy to be home in my own bed with my new comforter. I’m happy to be home with my mom and 2 dogs. I’m happy to see my sister, niece, and nephew.

My 3 nieces and my nephew are what keep me going. They’re my everything.

Life is hard. There will always be something hurtful along the way. I know that nothing is so bad that it would constitute taking my own life. There’s nothing easy about living, but I have to remember that “this too shall pass”.

I’m grateful to be here; breathing and getting through it all, alive.

Life is a precious gift. We only get so many trips around the sun, and we never know when it’ll be our time. And, I know that is not up to me to figure that out.

I’m gonna keep on keeping on. 💞

Sending love and light, Kel.