I have writer’s block due to my depression. My brain feels so full and fuzzy. I’m having a hard time concentrating on anything, and I’m in a lot of emotional pain.

Even so, I’m writing this now to show myself that I can do difficult things. I can still write when I’m feeling this way. It might not be much, but it’s all I’ve got right now.

I’m going to try to do a creative writing. Here it goes:

There’s an empty feeling inside. One that stings like a thousand knives. Nothing seems right. There’s only so much I can do. I don’t even know if I’ll make it through. It’s been almost 2 months since I’ve felt okay. Maybe I’ll be stable one day? I wrote a paragraph about another galaxy. One where is be free and happy. I’d have big grey wings with which to fly. I’d fly up into the sky, and see the stars up close. Who knows? Maybe I would be happy there? It’s only a dream though. One that I can hold onto when I’m in fear. Fear of this life here on this planet. I wish things could be different here, damn it! When nothing seems right and everything is going wrong, I just have to stay strong. I’ll make it through this, no matter how I feel now. And, though it hurts, I can’t let my depression bring me down. Tears have stopped finally. I have supports who love me unconditionally. So I hold onto that, too. With their support, I’ll make it through. Colors are still dull, but not black & white anymore. I’ve opened the door to healing. And, healing begins with feeling. I must allow myself to feel this pain. I have the key to this locked cage. I just have to use it. But, I know, I’ll make it through it. I’ll be free with grey wings. I’ll fly to the sky and see what freedom is like. And then I’ll know the truth. I’ve been free all along. I just have to stay strong.

Sending love and light, Kel.