It’s important for me to keep reminding myself how far I’ve come in my recovery and spiritual life. Ten years ago, if you’d ask me about my goals or a Higher Power, I would have laughed in your face. Higher Power? Goals? What are those?? But today I wouldn’t laugh. I would say that my Higher Power is always with me and my goals are works in progress. And, I’m stronger than I know.

I’ve had a rough go of it in this life… so much despair and heartache. Yet I carry on. It’s becoming clear to me that every single person on Earth is struggling in one way or another. We’re all in this together.

I want to take this time to thank everyone who’s crossed my path in life that has opened my eyes toward healing. There have been many. Everyone from school teachers to family & friends to therapists to strangers. Healing is a journey with many pathways and possibilities.

I first noticed things were changing for me when I made the decision to quit drinking. That was the very first step in my healing. I then learned about a Higher Power which opened up a whole realm of changes. I began to trust in that Higher Power, although, that trust ebbed and flowed a lot of times.

Things changed again when I found out I had Bipolar Disorder. There was finally an answer to the highs and lows. It didn’t make my symptoms any easier to handle, but it was an answer. I then overidentified with my Bipolar Disorder for what would turn out to be years. A definite road block to my healing process.

I’m now almost 4 years sober (after trying to get sober for so many years before that), and I’m learning that I don’t have to identify myself with my disorders. I’m just me. And what that looks like is fluid from day to day.

I was given this life because I’m strong enough to live it. I’m forever changing and growing and healing. The process will never be over. All I can do is try to be a better version of myself each day. There will always be roadblocks, but that’s where the most growth happens. With growth comes clarity. With clarity comes a deep knowing. With deep knowing comes healing.

I’m forever grateful for my healing journey. It’s the only way I know how to live now, and I wouldn’t want it any other way.

Sending love and light, Kel.