My therapist asked me what I thought about a higher level of care since I've been up and down mood-wise a lot lately. I told her I think it'd be a good idea. So, I found somewhere that would take my insurance and did an … Continue reading Extra Support

Hey friends. I want to tell you about my experience this past week in a poem. It's been a rough one. My moods have been up and down. Sometimes I don't think anyone wants me around. There's a darkness looming inside. It's in my mind; … Continue reading Pain of Emotion

Once there was a girl; her eyes sparkling with tears. She felt numb and emotionless. She sat staring up at the ceiling fan, waiting for a thought to arise. The thought never came. With blank stares and hollow mind, she waited. Nothing. She wanted to … Continue reading Numb

I tend to minimize thoughts and emotions. I bury them when I'm feeling emotionally wounded. I'm learning how to feel these emotions in a healthy way instead of reaching for any of my negative coping mechanisms. I had an emotional breakdown the other day. Something … Continue reading Floodgates

I was going to write a gratitude list for myself because I've been struggling lately with negativity and low self-esteem. I decided to do something a little different and write about why I'm grateful for these things. My mom- She is always there when I … Continue reading Gratitude

How do I get through the day that I don't want to do that day? Usually when I feel this way I can take it an hour at a time; break my day up in hour-long chunks. Sometimes I lay in bed the night before … Continue reading I Don’t Want To Do Tomorrow

Change is difficult. We are creatures of habit and don't like change. But, how are we to grow without changes? I've recently been working on moving forward in my life. I'm writing again. I'm taking suggestions from my therapist seriously. I'm moving on into a … Continue reading Change is Good

When severe depression lasts more than 10 days, it can start to feel like it'll never end. The darkness sits there in the back of my mind constantly. Even when I think I might be getting better, the darkness comes back up again. It's a … Continue reading Bipolar Depression

She lifts her eyes from the floor, only to see that the colors of the world have faded. She looks down at her shoes to make sure she's still where she's supposed to be. Her insides scream, all the while, she's looking just fine on … Continue reading Not Okay -A Poem

KJ Photography In the shallow you can see right through. The deeper the water gets, the less you can see, except for a glistening top. That's kind of my life story. When I'm not being real with others, they can see right through me. They … Continue reading Vulnerability

Every day is different. Some days I sleep 14 hours; other days 5. Some days I'm feeling great; other days I want to crawl in a hole. I think this is my normal. I can’t think of a time when it wasn't like this, except … Continue reading Different Every Day

This quote really struck me. I've had my fair share of criticism in my life. I don't take it well. I take everything personally! It's part of who I am. I'm learning how to let these criticisms go. "I am under no obligation to make … Continue reading No Obligation

This morning, as I'm sitting here at the kitchen table once again, I'm thinking about the animals I've had in my life. When I tell people I love rats, they usually squirm! I've had hamsters, mice, betta fish, and rats. My rats were by far … Continue reading My Jane Jane

I took my phone case off my phone because I was sick of it being so cumbersome and heavy, plus, it had cracks in it. It reminded me of how life can be. We have to shed those heavy, cumbersome, broken parts of our emotional … Continue reading Starting Over

Some days, some weeks, some months are harder than others. My mood took a nosedive yesterday after I was actually feeling good the past few weeks. That's what happens when you have a mood disorder like Bipolar. It's true, "what goes up must come down". … Continue reading Nosedive